Saturday, May 30, 2009

Bowling for orphans

(or did I say "Bowling endorphins"?)

Before anybody gets the wrong idea, this post does not deal with black-market trafficking of Slavic children into slavery or child prostitution - not that I hadn't considered weighing in on that topic. No, this is more of a "The Dude meets Mother Theresa" sort of tale.

A few of the teachers at the Middle-Aged Woman's school have become very involved in outreach to Russian orphans during their summer vacations. (If you are interested in finding out more about the adversity these children face or making a donation to ease their burdens, please visit According Snoplum, these kids prize T-shirts and other articles of clothing with English writing or labels. So a couple weeks ago, I went through my rather extensive T-shirt collection and selected some things that -

a) I have never worn,
b) I'm never going to wear again, or
c) I didn't realize were in the drawer to begin with.

The main fundraising event for this outreach the past couple years has been a bowling event. Those of you who've been with me for the long haul (OK, since April!) know that for many years, I was a proud member of the Spinners bowling team. Although the Spinners continue to thrive as a highly exclusive organization of like-minded gentlemen - we don't bowl together on a regular basis. In fact, my only bowling for the past few years has been in support of the Kostroma Kids Program. I haven't bowled regularly for over ten years - but when I did my average was generally in the mid- to upper-160s. Not great - I'd say on the lower end of respectable as bowlers go - at least, bowlers that'll associate with someone like me.

So tonight - after a year lay-off - I bowled three games and scored 137, 218* and 151.
Ladies and gentlemen, that's a 506 series and [drumroll please] - a 168 average for the night.

In the words of Ralph Malph, "I've still got it." Let it never be said that I wouldn't roll my best for the orphans.

Take care.

* This game saved my @$$. I opened with a turkey (three strikes in a row) and marked in every frame.


Middle Aged Woman said...

I am picturing the meeting of The Dude and Mother Teresa. She kicks his ass.

Pamela said...

I don't know nothing 'bout no bowling, but way to whoop ass.

Jim Styro said...

MAW: In my vision of their meeting, she and the Dude burn one - then she rolls a 300 game.

Pamela: Well, you know know plenty about birthin' them babies, so we'll call it even. "Whooping ass"? That were my pleasure.

Middle Aged Woman said...

It's very important to know whether they burned one or not.

Jess said...

That is pretty amazing bowling! I get better somewhere between the second beer and the fourth. Sometime between the fifth and the ninth things start getting a little rough. And then they really get nuts when they remove the bumpers. Gawd, I love bowling.

Anonymous said...