"Learning the game": Jim Styro's Meaning Of Life, Part Seven

Ah, the unadorned eloquence of pop music lyrics; they can convey as much as the Bard, the Bible or the Beatles (hey! - wait a minute...)*

When Buddy Holly sang:

"When you love her
and she doesn't love you
You're only learning the game..."

He was talking about one situation I haven't considered much in previous MOL musings ...when we find ourselves in relationships where the feelings, desires & intentions of partners aren't mutual. Or, in extreme situations, where the other parties are concerned solely with their own interests; or worse yet - where the one we love doesn't love us, doesn't like us - is "playing" us.

The concept of life or love as a game has been around for...well, for a long time, how about that? But there's something about it, that rubs me the wrong way - how about you? Although from a positive angle, viewing love as a game might emphasize the fun and playfulness of a relationship - an equally valid perspective could focus on the competitive aspects of all games, the fact that games have winners and losers, the underlying idea that life is a zero sum game** - for me to win I need to acquire more while everyone else gets less.

Although I can't prove that life is, in fact, not a zero sum game - I choose to believe that is not the case (based on my own experiences) and behave accordingly.

But I suspect that all of us (or nearly so) have experienced an unrequited love - where our devotion was either not reciprocated at all ("I'm busy this Saturday - and every other Saturday night for the rest of my life") or not reciprocated in kind ("I hope we can just be friends"). Who during adolescence, with their hormones raging, hasn't "fallen in love" (or, at least, lust) with someone who really didn't want to have anything to do with them.

Of course, what can make things really interesting (depending on how you look at it), is to become involved with someone who is deliberately leveraging your devotion, good-will or good-naturedness for their own gain - without regard for what would be best for you.

It's getting late - so I'll defer some of the finer points to a subsequent post. See you next time.


Take care.


* Redundancy is my friend
** Where the gain of one player is offset by the loss of another player,