(or - Styro goes postal)
[WARNING: This is going to be the longest disclaimer ever. Python-esque in length. That's not what I'm warning you about. But you need to know that this is indeed a serious warning and you should pay attention.
This is still the warning.
PLEASE DO NOT PLAY THE AUDIO FOR THIS POST IF THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THE ROOM. Because there is a lot of profanity in it. So if that bothers you, you should not read or listen to the rest of this post. Seriously - I am not kidding one bit. I would not particularly want my Grandmother reading or listening to this post because of all the bad language - that you will soon be hearing or reading. In fact, I would like to apologize to my grandmother, in case she is reading or listening.
Grandma: I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't use language like this - but I thought it might make the post really funny. And I know that they are cheap laughs. But my posts have been pretty serious lately. And I have been staying up too late writing them, so I thought this idea would make things a little easier on me and be pretty entertaining all at the same time. But I know I shouldn't have done it - and I'm sorry.
Anyway, this is the last part of the warning -so if you are still reading or listening, profanity must not bother you. And you must enjoy movies like "The Big Lebowski" (me, too!) and so hopefully you will like this post too and that is the end of the warning.
Except to say that the swearing will be starting really soon...]
I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but the casual use of profanity these days - not only in speech, but on t-shirts and bumper stickers - is very troubling to me. It bothers me in part because I think it represents a coarsening of our culture, an abandonment of politeness as a standard of public conduct. But it also shows a decided lack of verbal creativity - not because we don't have a sufficient vocabulary to express ourselves accurately without using profanity - just that we're too lazy to be bothered.
And that is f*cking pathetic. I mean, it really p*sses me off - when I hear my own g*dd*man children, the fruit of my loins spewing that sh*t. I mean, don't they realize how that f*cking sh*t reflects on my @$$!! That is not how they were f*cking raised, let me tell you. Those little f*cks could count on one f*cking hand the number of f*cking times I've cursed in front of them. Seriously.
And then there's the g*dd*mn blasphemy. I mean, whatever happened to not taking the f*cking Lord's name in vain, fer Chrissake? And my kids will do it so casually sometimes. Jesus H Christ - it really f*cking p*sses me off!!! I could understand some of it if there was an extreme situation, if they were really upset - or angry - but the little d*ckheads are f*cking swearing when they're calm as f*cking cucumbers.
The bottom line is: @$$holes who can't express themselves in any other way than f*cking swearing every other f*cking word are the sort of sh*theads that deserve equal measures of our derision and our f*cking pity. Stupid c*cksuckers!
If we are to have any hope of preserving the last vestiges of polite society, it seems to me we must begin with controlling our tongues. Only by demonstrating self-control in our language can we demonstrate our capability to control the other aspects of our behavior.
And all the f*cking profanity? That sh*t has got to stop.
Jim Styro's Meaning Of Life will continue tomorrow.
RED WINGS PLAYOFF UPDATE:
Detroit vs. Anaheim - Wings and Ducks tied 2 - 2 in the best of seven series.
Have you ever thought
6 days ago