Friday, May 8, 2009

Spin Cycle: The Proliferation of Profanity - Mountain or molehill

(or - Styro goes postal)

[WARNING: This is going to be the longest disclaimer ever. Python-esque in length. That's not what I'm warning you about. But you need to know that this is indeed a serious warning and you should pay attention.

This is still the warning.
PLEASE DO NOT PLAY THE AUDIO FOR THIS POST IF THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THE ROOM. Because there is a lot of profanity in it. So if that bothers you, you should not read or listen to the rest of this post. Seriously - I am not kidding one bit. I would not particularly want my Grandmother reading or listening to this post because of all the bad language - that you will soon be hearing or reading. In fact, I would like to apologize to my grandmother, in case she is reading or listening.

Grandma: I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't use language like this - but I thought it might make the post really funny. And I know that they are cheap laughs. But my posts have been pretty serious lately. And I have been staying up too late writing them, so I thought this idea would make things a little easier on me and be pretty entertaining all at the same time. But I know I shouldn't have done it - and I'm sorry.

Anyway, this is the last part of the warning -so if you are still reading or listening, profanity must not bother you. And you must enjoy movies like "The Big Lebowski" (me, too!) and so hopefully you will like this post too and that is the end of the warning.

Except to say that the swearing will be starting really soon...]

I know I shouldn't let it bother me, but the casual use of profanity these days - not only in speech, but on t-shirts and bumper stickers - is very troubling to me. It bothers me in part because I think it represents a coarsening of our culture, an abandonment of politeness as a standard of public conduct. But it also shows a decided lack of verbal creativity - not because we don't have a sufficient vocabulary to express ourselves accurately without using profanity - just that we're too lazy to be bothered.

And that is f*cking pathetic. I mean, it really p*sses me off - when I hear my own g*dd*man children, the fruit of my loins spewing that sh*t. I mean, don't they realize how that f*cking sh*t reflects on my @$$!! That is not how they were f*cking raised, let me tell you. Those little f*cks could count on one f*cking hand the number of f*cking times I've cursed in front of them. Seriously.

And then there's the g*dd*mn blasphemy. I mean, whatever happened to not taking the f*cking Lord's name in vain, fer Chrissake? And my kids will do it so casually sometimes. Jesus H Christ - it really f*cking p*sses me off!!! I could understand some of it if there was an extreme situation, if they were really upset - or angry - but the little d*ckheads are f*cking swearing when they're calm as f*cking cucumbers.

The bottom line is: @$$holes who can't express themselves in any other way than f*cking swearing every other f*cking word are the sort of sh*theads that deserve equal measures of our derision and our f*cking pity. Stupid c*cksuckers!

If we are to have any hope of preserving the last vestiges of polite society, it seems to me we must begin with controlling our tongues. Only by demonstrating self-control in our language can we demonstrate our capability to control the other aspects of our behavior.

And all the f*cking profanity? That sh*t has got to stop.

Take care.

Jim Styro's Meaning Of Life will continue tomorrow.

Detroit vs. Anaheim - Wings and Ducks tied 2 - 2 in the best of seven series.


Middle Aged Woman said...

Dude...why you got to cuss so much?

Sprite's Keeper said...

..............................................................................sorry, laughing, hold on!..............................................................................
I can't stop giggling at this! I could hear your voice in my head as I read it and it just came off like a George Carlin moment.
And you're right. Absolutely. Cursing is the lazy and crude way to emphasize meaning and definitely makes something like "she's pissing me off" turn into "she's f**king pissing me off", more dramatic and more biting. Great Spin, Jim. I agree 100 f**king percent! You're linked!

The Stiletto Mom said...


I should have listed to the (lengthy) disclaimer. I just had a feeling this was the wrong blog to read to my daughter for her goodnight story.


historymike said...

You know, one of the coolest parts about Jim Styro finally creating a blog is the banter between husband and wife when MAW shows up. Would "reality blogging" be an appropriate name for such a genre?

OK, OK: Jim Styro is a guest poster and frequent commentator at Unmitigated, so this phenomenon is not really new, but you know what I mean (I think).

It's like The Real World would be if it were populated by normal intelligent folks instead of semi-literate narcissistic television whores.

lisleman said...

"..just that we're too lazy to be bothered.." Agreed! WTF they can't even take the time to spell it out!

Jim Styro said...

MAW: "W'the f*ck are you talking about?" ("OK, yeah...but let me explain something about the Dude...")

SK: I made a grown-woman giggle? That's EXCELLENT!
I think I just got a little taller. (Ah, the strange twisted entity that is a man's ego...)

S&M: It coulda happened to anybody. We'll call it an honest mistake. (Did I really use some words she didn't already know?)

Mikey: We really should get together soon so you can see this show taped live before a studio audience. We could meet in Monroe or something - but the MAW thrives in her own natural habitat (i.e. within a stone's throw of her bed). I tried out for the part of "semi-literate narcissistic television whore" - but the b*stards turned me down.

lisleman: Well said. Thanks for commenting.

The Mister said...

I'm all in favor of leaving profanity behind in favor of more humorous exclamations. Tarnation! goes a long way toward diffusing a tense situation.

I also say, "Oh Jesus" a lot at work. When someone (who obviously doesn't really believe what they're calling me on) accuses me of taking the Lord's name in vain I reply, "It ain't in vain if you expect a response. That was a prayer, not a curse."

~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

that post was really f*cking funny. i hate to admit it but f*ck is probably one of my favorite words. i totally agree with you on a coarsening of the culture, and i'm just as guilty as the next- though there's some words i refuse to say- those taking the Lord's name in vein and m*ther *ucker. GREAT SPIN!

Jim Styro said...

Mister: "Tarnation" - that's a great idea. Admittedly, there are legitimate reasons to call out for heavenly assistance - but I don't think most people who use those expressions are thinking about Jesus when they say "Jesus!"

S.D. Cowgirl: I hate to admit that I feel the same as you - f*ck (and its seemingly endless variations and combinations) is a favorite. But I don't like to overuse that word - lest it lose its power and effectiveness. Glad you enjoyed the post - and thanks for commenting.

historymike said...

Agreed that there is a certain power to the word f**k tht is lost if spoken use of the word becomes an everyday event. I almost never say it at home, and the times I have used it involved teenagers-off-the-hook. They know that when Dad drops the F-bomb, they are in serious trouble.

The other times I use it usually involve some Neanderthalic driver who commits an act of vehicular recklessness that jeopardizes the well-being of my car and/or my body. This typically takes the form of "what the f**k?" or "you've GOT to be f**king kidding me."

I have been reining in my cussing in the past decade, especially now that I teach. The good part about teaching college is that I have a classroom full of adults, and if a "bulls**t" or "a**hole" slipped out, I do not have to worry about mobs of angry parents, like MAW would face if she cussed in class.