Thursday, April 2, 2009

"April is (not) the cruelest month"

T.S. Eliot was full of...

Let's just say: he was gravely mistaken. Or he never spent a winter in Michigan.

Everybody here knows that March is the cruelest month. It's long, it's devoid of holidays*, and - at least where I live - winter is NOT over. And it may not be over anytime soon.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Dude, you live in MICHIGAN! You've lived there your whole life - what do you expect?!" Well, admittedly, I expect winter to last nearly forever - but that doesn't make the process any easier. In fact, as I get older, I find more and more people who have (apparently) chosen to live here - but are, in fact, Winter Wimps. These are people who started whining and sniveling about the winter weather IN DECEMBER!! 'Round these here parts, Winter's just getting started in December.

But even for a hardened veteran like me, by the end of March, you just want it to be over. You'd like it to be over sooner - but that's just crazy talk. You're willing to settle for April showers (you know, the ones that bring May flowers) - as long as they are not snow showers.

Why this preoccupation with the weather? I'd like to think it's just an acceptance that there are forces in existence over which we have no control and can't ignore. Yet it seems to be in our nature to control as many things in life as we can and try to ignore the rest. It's like we're all trying to live by the postal motto: "Neither snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night shall stay these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds"** We don't want to let anything get in the way of our plans. So we drive our cars as though the freeway is clear and the pavement is dry - even if the freeways is crowded and it's raining or snowing. And we're proud of the fact that we shrug off these inhospitable conditions and go full speed ahead - scoffing at folks who have the good sense to adjust their behaviors to the conditions they encounter. When did adjusting to reality become a bad thing?

The good news is: the high temp hit 57F in Detroit today. Spring may actually be here.

But if I was a betting man: I'd say Winter will have one more shot at us before the cruelty is over.

Take care.

*I know I may get protests to the contrary but - St. Patrick's Day does not count. Any holiday centered around drinking large quantities of green beer cannot be taken seriously.

** This the abbreviated, Laurie Anderson version


Middle Aged Woman said...

I am conflicted about making one of my first comments an argumentative one, but, IT'S NOT THAT! I know you recognize the reference, and that's what counts. I think that ** motto is actually from the Pony Express. You can thank me later.

Jess said...

LIAR! This blog was totally not in all caps.

MAW told me I should come I did...and I likes.

gathering dust said...

green beer is totally legit for a holiday. just so you know. i don't personally partake, i just stick with hard liquor and green jell-o shots. but really, aren't all holidays just excuses to consume mass quantities of alcohol? you know, you go to percival christmases.

Captain Dumbass said...


Anonymous said...

Cap'N is right Dad. But you did put MICHIGAN in all caps, so I think that counts. I too agree that St. Patrick's Day doesn't count. I'm also a big enough holiday Nazi that I want April Fool's Day killed completely.

Mama Dawg said...

Neener, neener, neener. It's regularly been in the 70's here for a while.


Twenty Four At Heart said...

Welcome to the blogosphere!! :)

Cathy said...

St. Patty's day totally counts, I was sad this was the first year in a while I didn't get to truly celebrate this holiday to the fullest (o college...) but I did put some green food coloring in a 7oz bottle of beer...that's right, a 7oz bottle, you don't see those every day of the week.

Welcome to the blogging world

Jim Styro said...

Thanks to all for the comments & warm greetings!

MAW: As Caiaphas is quoted (in my favorite translation) - "You do not seem to have grasped the situation at all." And why did you not use any sources?

Read 'em and weep -

I'll let you know what you can do for me later.

Jess, Capt. D, Ms. PC: Let's clear this thing up right away - the blog's called "speaking in CAPS" - NOT "writing in CAPS". Didn't you guys listen to the audio portion of the program? I was practically SHOUTING.

GD & Cathy: I'm not persuaded on the whole St. Patrick's Day thing. If I get the day off - or they start closing the banks on March 17 - maybe I'll reconsider.

Mama D: You, madam, are a trouble-maker.

24@H: Thanks, it's good to be here.

True Blue Texan said...

I really love the written and spoken postings. What a cool idea.

And just so you know, here in Texas its currently 47 but headed to 80. I'll trade you a couple days of 100 degree plus heat with some lovely 90% humidity thrown in for good measure for just one day of your snow.

Though Austin basically shuts down like a pansy when it does actually ice or snow. Cause no one here knows how the hell to drive on the stuff except those that thought they were escaping it when they left Michigan.

Anonymous said...

It was not the pony express. Neither is it the postal motto.

Jim Styro said...

"You were right and I was wrong, honey. A blind man could see that...

now let's GO GET NATHAN JR.!"