Friday, August 7, 2009

It seemed like a good idea at the time

Here's a couple recent thoughts I jotted down in my Franklin Planner (with a bit of commentary at no extra charge):
- I prefer to do interesting things - rather than let interesting things happen to me.
The first involves making my own choices - which may or may not be good ones, which may or may not meet my original expectations. The latter seems based on judgement of events in hindsight - perhaps filtered through the view of others.

[You: "That really sounds interesting!"
Me: "Interesting? It was a tremendous pain in the @$$!"]

I don't believe that this preference means I can't "go with the flow" - or need to control everything (I go both ways in different circumstances). But I would rather be active than passive, I guess.

- It is poor use of another human being to keep them in a nearby room (figuratively or literally) primarily for one's own comfort or solace. Although you may derive benefit from the knowledge that someone will "always be there for me" - it is a diet on which few relationships can grow or thrive.
I think the above is true regardless of whether the parties involved are introverts or extroverts - although those preferences would certainly be a factor in how the parties deal with issues of solitude vs. interaction.

Perhaps these ideas will become pieces of the puzzle that get woven into the broad tapestry of my Meaning of Life posts (which remain untouched these recent weeks). Or not.

Sorry I didn't have any more lingerie shots for you thrill seekers. You never know when I'll go all Alistair Cooke on you.

Take care.


Sprite's Keeper said...

Whoa, I really need coffee this morning. Then I'll come back and see if it makes sense.

Sprite's Keeper said...


sunshine said...

Hey Jim! Your second thought made me think about a Woody Allen movie I watched last night called "Vicky Cristina Barcelona".

There's a character on the movie (Maria Elena) that does exactly what you've mention there, she couldn't have a healthy relationship with her husband until there was somebody else involved I guess this made her feel needed, comforted or just important. Of course things didn't work this way and the relationship fail as well...

I would recommend u to watch the movie, it's probably not the best Woody Allen movie but it's a fresh, authentic and out of the standards romantic comedy...

Have a great weekend!

Jim Styro said...

SK: Does this mean it did make sense the second time around - or it still didn't. I'm feeling insecure about the whole thing.
[You women can be so inscrutable.]

Sunshine: I did watch Vicki Christina Barcelona - I even made a brief mention here. Although it's not a perfect fit, I think Manhattan might be a better match for the idea I was trying to convey. In that one, Allen's character seems to like the idea of being in a relationship better than actually being in a relationship.

sunshine said...

Hey Jim, I haven't watched Manhattan but I will try to get it at the video store (on this small island the movie choices are sometimes very limited).

I agree with your previous comment about "VCB" that the movie doesn't really go anywhere, I even made the comment to my husband just when the movie finished that "nobody in the movie really had any closure".

But, oh well I guess life really doesn't have any closure until the day you die (I hope)...

I guess in the case "the idea of being in a relationship" vs. actually being in one is a state that affects a lot of people and from my point of view is mainly cause a relationship requires constant work and attention and some people are either not really or not cut for it.

Jim Styro said...

Sunshine: Relationships do require effort; they need care and feeding - just like the people in them. And - you're right - not everyone is cut out for the long haul; or, to put it another way, some people seem unwilling to put forth the effort necessary to sustain a long, intimate relationship.