[Ladies and Gentlemen:
You know her as the Middle-Aged Woman. I call her Snoplum.
Now, here she is - without further ado, a woman who needs no introduction (if you need character references, click here), the Lovely and Talented One, the Unmitigated One, the Magnificent One, the Little Pretty One, the One and Only One....
Mr. Steely Dan, and whatever.* -- JS]
It starts like this...I am at a concert with friends, Paul McCartney and Wings just so you know how old I am. Did Jim Styro mention that yesterday was my birthday? I think he may have. I'm thirty-sixteen now.
So, I'm at this concert, but there's a problem. The show cannot go on. Linda has lost her voice, and can't sing tonight. An announcement is made, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we are very sorry to have to inform you that Mr. McCartney will not be able to perform tonight, as his wife is unable to provide harmony vocals. Unless....is there anyone here, by chance, who knows all the words and can sing the harmony parts? There IS? My God, what are the chances? Please report to the backstage area, immediately!"
And up I go, NOT taking the lead, NOT becoming the star, NOT rocking out for all to see. I become one of the sex-ay chicks at the microphone in the back row, dancing in a coordinated manner with my stage mates, and providing soulful harmonies to one of the greatest songwriters of the 20th century. I am a big hit. I bow modestly to the cheering of thousands.
Or....Styro and I are finally invited to the home of close, personal friend, Randy Newman. We ask him to play something for us, and he agrees, as long as I will provide the vocals. Of course my performance rivals that of Linda Ronstadt, and he signs me up to sing on his next record (Yes, record, I already said I was old).
I love to sing (in case you hadn't already gleaned this information), but am not much for the spotlight. Jim Styro sings in choirs. He does solos all the time. He performs in musicals, and sings on stage. I don't know how he manages. I once asked a friend how she found the nerve to sing in front of people and audition for a show. She didn't understand the question. What nerve? I just do it, she said.
I sing in the car and the garden. Someday, the theater group Jim Styro works with will do Guys and Dolls. Maybe the actress playing Miss Adelaide won't be able to go on stage one night....
[Thanks, Snoplum - and
Take care, everyone.]
* True Steely Dan fans need no explanation. For the rest of you, listen to Bodhisattva (Live) [from the Citizen Steely Dan box set or the CD editiion of Steely Dan Gold.
Or click here].
Have you ever thought
6 days ago